


wingmen

by frozensight



Series: nano ninjas 2019 [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, or enough to warrant the tag, there's not enough canon involved in this fic to diverge from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 00:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21383329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozensight/pseuds/frozensight
Summary: Iruka thinks it's just going to be a night out with Asuma, catching up and thinking about when they were kids, but then he sees Kurenai and the one, the only, Hatake Kakashi at the bar as well. He knows two things at that moment: 1) Asuma set him up, the jerk, and 2) tonight is definitely not going to go how he wanted.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Series: nano ninjas 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534298
Comments: 7
Kudos: 208





	wingmen

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU

When Asuma asked Iruka to go out with him for drinks, he thought that his pseudo-brother just wanted to spend some time with him. They’ve both been busy lately, what with Asuma being a jounin and Iruka being a new Academy teacher; there simply hasn’t been much time to catch up with one another. Iruka agrees, and Asuma grins and claps him on the back. “Thanks! I’ll see you later!”

Iruka watches Asuma leave, his brow furrowing in confusion. Thanks? Thanks for what?

The thanks, turned out, to be for joining him on the double date that is roughly disguised as people hanging out. Iruka sighs the moment he walks into the bar and sees Asuma sitting across the table from Kurenai, who’s smiling at something Asuma just said. The man next to her, silver hair sticking up, mask, and one eye showing betraying him to be none other than Hatake Kakashi, looks less than enthused to be there. Iruka can relate.

“Iruka!” calls out Asuma as he approaches. He’s ushered into the booth so that he’s sitting across from Kakashi, who barely bothers to wave a couple fingers at him in acknowledgment of their shared pain. “Can I get you anything?”

“Sake, please,” is all Iruka gets out as he sits down. Asuma walks away to get it, leaving Iruka with people he hasn’t prepared himself to converse with today. “Kurenai-san, Kakashi-san.”

“Hello Iruka-san,” Kurenai smiles at him, nudging Kakashi with her elbow.

“Maa, yes, so nice of you to join us this evening, Iruka-san — or should we call you sensei?” Kakashi seems bored with their conversation already. It annoys Iruka, but at the same time he can’t blame him. They both know why they’re at this table and it’s not so they can have a nice evening.

“Either is fine with me,” he says, giving them both a small smile to prove that he’s here to play pretend just as much as Kakashi is.

“How’s that been going, by the way?” asks Asuma as he slides back into the booth, handing Iruka a bottle and a cup. Iruka fills the cup and downs it before even contemplating answering. Asuma and Kurenai raise their eyebrows at that. Kakashi seems unperturbed. “That bad, huh?”

“Children are the future, Asuma,” Iruka says blandly, “But they are also _hellbeasts_ set on destroying the village and my patience.”

Asuma laughs, while Kurenai merely chuckles. Kakashi stares blankly towards Iruka, but also through him — like his mind is focusing on a point beyond him or not on him at all. Asuma reminds him, “You’re the one who decided to fore-go training for the tokubetsu jounin exam and start teaching.”

“And I have no regrets. I love teaching; my students just don’t always love learning.”

“That or you’re a bad teacher.”

“_Kakashi_!” hisses Kurenai, but Iruka sees no remorse in Kakashi’s face — the little of it he can see anyway. He’s aware of what he said and who he said it to, Iruka has to give him kudos for being, at least, a _genuine_ ass.

“It’s a fair point, Kurenai-san.” Iruka huffs, chuckling despite himself as he pours himself another cup. “I’m still new to teaching, so he’s probably partially right.”

“Nonsense! You’re the one who helped me fine tune my chakra blades idea! Not even Kakashi was able to help me with that.”

Iruka rolls his eyes, his belly warming from the sake and Asuma’s words. “I also happen to have wind chakra like you though, so I think that puts Kakashi-san at a slight disadvantage.”

“One could argue that geniuses couldn’t be at a disadvantage within their fields of expertise.” Kakashi’s eye is more focused on Iruka now than it was, as if the conversation is actually starting to interest him.

“Then one could argue that maybe you’re not a genius. You could just suffer from sheer dumb luck.” Iruka felt Asuma kick him under the table, so he smiles at Kakashi while he downs his cup again. Kakashi’s eye zeros in on Iruka’s gaze, and if Iruka was a betting man, he’d say that Kakashi is actually annoyed.

“Anyway, do you think anyone in your class could be the next Hokage? Sandaime-jii has been griping about wanting to retire lately.” Asuma’s attempt to steer the conversation into a safer area is admirable, but from how Kakashi is watching Iruka, he’s not so sure it’s worked.

“My students are much too young to be considered for such a prestigious post, but there’s a few that hold real promise.” Iruka thinks briefly of Naruto, who’s a poor student, but ever determined to make something of himself. “I think, given enough time, one of them might even be up to the challenge of Hokage.”

“We’ll just have to see if any even become genin first,” comments Kakashi coolly, and Iruka’s grip on the sake bottle tightens. It doesn’t go beyond Kakashi’s notice, and Iruka swears he seems smug to know that he’s getting to him.

“Hey Kakashi, what was that mission you just went on?” asks Kurenai, making her own attempt at distracting from the weird antagonistic tension between Kakashi and Iruka.

They talk about missions and all the ways they can go sideways for a while. Iruka mainly listens, only interjecting a couple times. As a chuunin, his experience with high level missions going wrong isn’t as vast as the three jounin. Plus, listening gives him more time to drink his sake.

Eventually their conversation veers towards more general things, like what books everyone is reading or wants to read. Favorite places to eat — home or abroad. If you had to choose, who among the Sannin would you sleep with, kill, or marry?

Kurenai scrunches up her face, and Asuma’s expression all but screams how cute he thinks she is in that moment. “I think I’d have to sleep with Jiraiya, kill Orochimaru — obviously — and marry Tsunade.”

“Into kinky things are we, Kurenai?” asks Kakashi, very quickly glancing between Asuma and her to gauge their reactions. They both just blush a bit, and Kakashi hums before saying, “I have to admit though, I’d pick the same way.”

“Surprised you wouldn’t marry Jiraiya, with how much you love his books,” comments Asuma, pointedly not looking at Kurenai. Iruka can tell it’s killing him.

“While I love our dear Toad Sage’s works, I’m afraid I don’t know if I could handle more than one night with the man for fear of some of his more…eccentric proclivities.”

Before he could stop himself, Iruka says, “Oh, so you’re afraid he’ll bring toads into it.”

Both Kurenai and Asuma choke on their drinks, while Kakashi snorts — the first time Iruka’s heard him even sort of genuinely laugh all night.

“You’ve got me there, Iruka-sensei; I can’t say that I enjoy the idea of frogs hopping around while I’m having sex.”

Iruka shrugs. “Fair, but I think I’d still choose to marry him over Tsunade. He’d keep things interesting at least.”

Kakashi seems to re-evaluate Iruka for a moment, but Asuma takes control over the conversation again before he can make a reply. Iruka is grateful for the excuse to stop talking about sex with some of their village’s most powerful shinobi.

It’s maybe another hour or so until Kurenai yawns, and Asuma downs the last of his drink before saying, “Well guys, I think I’m gonna head out. Got a mission tomorrow.” He stands up, but he hesitates, a hand scratching the back of his head. “Want me to walk you home, Kurenai?”

“Sure.” Kurenai slides out of the booth, trying to hide her smile as she does so. “Thanks for coming out tonight you guys. It’s been fun.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” Iruka replies. It’d be cute how they’re still pretending the real reason both he and Kakashi are there was just to hang out if they weren’t about to leave him with the asshole.

He’s pretty sure he hears Kakashi mumble something along the lines of, “Sorry we can’t come to the after party.”

Iruka resists the urge to kick Kakashi under the table — if only because he’s pretty sure it will result in him kicking the table. Asuma seems to notice Iruka’s tense shoulders, and smiles at him, giving him a thumbs up as he walks away, Kurenai slightly ahead of him as they head to the bar to pay.

“Well, tonight’s been a waste of time,” says Kakashi, pulling out one of his infamous Icha Icha books, immediately burying his face into it.

He pours out another cup of sake for himself, and Iruka sighs as he sips at it. “I suppose for them it wasn’t, but they’re also the idiots pretending that everyone else doesn’t already know they’re fucking.”

“Language, sensei. What would your students think?”

Iruka rolls his eyes. “They’d think nothing of it because they know exactly what they drive me to. Plus if they’ve managed to get into a shinobi bar, then they can certainly deal with a little cursing.”

Kakashi chuckles, his one visible eye doing that weird pseudo smile thing that Iruka doesn’t trust. “The children are lucky to have you, sensei.”

“Damn straight they are,” grumbles Iruka, finishing the last of his sake. He wonders briefly if he should ask for another bottle, but his head is already starting to feel fuzzy, and even though he doesn’t have to get up in the morning, it’s still probably not wise to imbue more. Iruka slides out of the booth and says, “Well, Kakashi-san, as _thrilling_ as tonight has been, this is where I say good riddance.”

“If you’re leaving then I have no one else to bother and might as well leave as well too.” Kakashi stands up beside him, book now tucked away into one of his pouches.

“Whatever.” Iruka moves to go to the bar, but finds himself rushing to meet the floor the very next second. A firm hand grips his arm last second, the jerking motion reverberating pain through his shoulder joint.

“Maa, perhaps you’ve had too much to drink, sensei.” Kakashi sounds like he’s trying not to laugh at Iruka, and it grates on Iruka’s nerves. He straightens himself, pulling his arm from Kakashi’s grasp — unable to hide his wince as his now sore shoulder protests at the drastic movement.

“I’m _fine_, you ass.”

“That is the usual proclamation of a drunk though.”

With a huff, Iruka determinedly walks off to go pay his tab, and he steadfastly ignores the lingering smug presence behind him. He hands over the necessary bills to the bartender, and shakes his head when offered correct change. “Keep it.”

“Thanks, and have a good night, Iruka-sensei.” The bartender glances minutely between Iruka and Kakashi, a slight grin on their face. Iruka suppresses a groan before muttering a goodbye and leaving the bar proper — Kakashi still trailing behind him like a duckling.

“People are going to talk, y’know,” grumbles Iruka, his hands in his pockets as he proceeds to walk home as if he isn’t being followed by the finest shinobi and asshole in Konoha. He’s not walking a straight line so much as meandering around one.

“And I’ll correct them so that they know I was merely assisting one of our valuable teachers home after a night of drinking. Just trying to make sure you get home safely.”

Iruka snorts, eyes flitting over to Kakashi, who’s walking next to him so that he can only see his hitai-ate covered eye. “Because Hatake Kakashi is known for his altruism.”

“I’m known for many things; it doesn’t surprise me that you might not have heard of them all.” Iruka chuckles despite himself, his shoulders still tense from a hard day’s work and Kakashi’s presence.

“It boggles my mind how you’ve managed to maintain a friendship with Kurenai; she’s not usually one for putting up with bullshit.”

Kakashi hums. “Are you sure? She’s been putting up with Asuma’s since they were kids.”

That’s fair, Iruka reasons. Asuma’s never been shy about how he felt for her until she started actively showing it back. “Still, you’re an asshole jerk, and usually she puts them in their places, not invite them out for drinks.”

“Perhaps she knows a side of me that you don’t,” says Kakashi lightly, and Iruka shrugs. 

“I’m sure there’s a lot of you I don’t know, but that doesn’t make you any less of a jerk.”

“Maybe so, but even a jerk has their uses.”

Iruka frowns, wishing that Kakashi hadn’t purposefully placed himself so that he’s hard to read. His apartment building is slowly approaching though, so Iruka figures he’ll be rid of him soon regardless. “Like what?”

“Maa, I’ve heard they’re rather good for releasing stress.” Iruka furrows his brows.

“Like how exactly?”

“Oh, you know, sparring, arguing, fucking.” Iruka coughs, having choked on his own spit a little, but Kakashi doesn’t mention it. “And if our conversations tonight are any indication, I think you could use a little…_release_.”

Rubbing one hand over his face, Iruka has a moment to wonder if maybe he’s been in a genjutsu all day. That’s the only logical explanation for why Konoha’s infamous Copy-nin is propositioning him, seconds away from his apartment. “What makes you think that?”

“You shoulders were tight all night, sensei, and that’s not to mention how much you drank.”

“I didn’t drink _that_ much.”

“You drank enough.”

They stop at the foot of Iruka’s building, and Iruka opens his mouth to tell him to fuck off, to go on back to his own surely miserable bachelor pad. Realistically he wants nothing to do with Kakashi, or his notions of needing to help Iruka release tension. Therefore, what comes out instead surprises both of them a bit.

“3B.”

“Excuse me?”

“My apartment number, _genius_,” chides Iruka, a smirk playing at his lips.

Kakashi’s expression rapidly shifts from casual indifference to intense focus, and before Iruka can even suggest it himself, Kakashi transports them to just outside of Iruka’s apartment with a single hand sign.

“Eager, aren’t we Kakashi-san?” asks Iruka, his laugh breathy and his head still adjusting to the rapid movement.

“Let’s get inside and I’ll show you just how eager I can be,” whispers Kakashi into Iruka’s ear, causing him to shudder. He clumsily does the hand signs to disable his wards, and then opens the door, all but dragging Kakashi in behind him. Once inside, Kakashi does a couple hand signs himself, and Iruka feels wards go up — soundproofing ones.

“_Oh_.”

Kakashi physically locks the front door before he stands idle in the entryway, eyeing Iruka like he’s fresh meat, but also with a patience that says Iruka can still back out if he wants.

Iruka slips off his shoes and walks past his living room towards the bedroom, only looking back when he reaches his bedroom door. “You coming?”

He finds himself pressed up against the wall the next moment, and Iruka has a brief thought for the misuse of jutsu before there’s a hungry mouth on his neck. Iruka barely has the thought of maybe he’ll see Kakashi’s face before he feels his own hitai-ate sliding down from his forehead to cover his eyes. “This okay?” asks Kakashi softly, his breath ghosting Iruka’s ear.

“Do I have a choice?”

Kakashi grunts, pressing a sloppy kiss to Iruka’s jaw before making his way down to his neck again. “Of course you do; you just don’t have a choice in whether you see my face.”

With a laugh that becomes strangled as Kakashi sucks a spot beneath Iruka’s ear, he asks, “Classified information, huh?”

“Triple S-rank,” replies Kakashi, and Iruka can feel his grin on his neck.

“You’re a dirty liar, but yes this is fine.” He hesitates before adding, “It’s not the first time I’ve been blindfolded during sex anyway.”

The growl that he gets in response goes straight to Iruka’s groin, and Iruka lets his hands flutter around until they find Kakashi’s face and pull it to his. The resulting kiss is hungry and all-encompassing. Iruka moans into it, trying to press as much of his body back up against Kakashi as possible. In return, Kakashi pulls away gently and says, “Bed. _Now_.”

“Lead the way, Kakashi-san,” murmurs Iruka, his hands wandering down from Kakashi’s face — which feels as frustratingly handsome as he always feared it might be — to his waist, where he grips tightly. “After all, I’m not allowed to see, remember?”

Kakashi’s mouth finds his again, kissing him so hard that Iruka forgets to breathe through his nose for just a moment. Next thing he knows, Iruka finds himself being picked up, so he automatically wraps his legs around Kakashi, reveling in the feel of their groins being pressed together. Kakashi drops him on the bed unceremoniously, making Iruka laugh when his body is almost immediately covered by him. “You truly are eager, aren’t you Kakashi-san?”

“I didn’t come here for foreplay, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi responds, hands sneaking up Iruka’s shirt, mouth following not far behind. The implied, ‘_I came here to fuck_,’ makes Iruka shiver.

“Get on with it then,” grumbles Iruka, breath growing shorter as Kakashi’s fingers find one of his nipples and his mouth finds the other. He arches up into Kakashi’s touches, which don’t lighten up, despite what the man says about foreplay. Kakashi merely hums into Iruka’s skin, licking his way around one nipple while pinching the other between his fingers.

“Now who’s eager?”

Iruka fumbles around for Kakashi’s head, pulling it up to fiercely kiss once he does. “Just get naked already.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” All Iruka can hear is rustling as Kakashi temporarily gets off Iruka to presumably disrobe. Iruka, at a slight disadvantage, shuffles out of his pants and underwear before trying to pull his shirt over his head without dislodging the hitai-ate at the same time. After a beat where Iruka has the shirt halfway off, Kakashi’s now familiar weight settles back over him — Iruka’s brain short-circuiting at the heat of skin on skin — and he hears him say, “Here, let me help.”

Deftly, Kakashi slips Iruka’s shirt off with one hand pressing lightly over the hitai-ate to keep it in place. The moment his arms are free of the garment, Iruka’s lips are reclaimed by Kakashi’s before he slinks down Iruka’s body, pressing kisses everywhere he can. The idea of Kakashi practically worshiping his body doesn’t compute with Iruka’s preconceived idea that Kakashi was probably more into quick and dirty flings, but like hell is he going to say something that might make him stop.

By the time Kakashi works his way down to Iruka’s cock, he’s fully erect and leaking. It’d be embarrassing if Iruka isn’t sure that Kakashi is nearly the same. Kakashi pauses there, lips hovering just over the tip of his cock, and Iruka nearly screams at him to stop being a tease. Seeming to sense Iruka’s impatience, Kakashi suddenly licks a stripe up the bottom side of Iruka’s cock before taking him fully into his mouth. Iruka gasps, forcing himself to not buck up into Kakashi’s mouth for fear of gagging him. Kakashi moans around Iruka, and it makes Iruka’s breath catch to think that someone is getting that much enjoyment out of sucking him off. Distantly in the back of his head, he thinks that it probably has been far too long since he’s gotten laid if that idea gets to him.

Kakashi keeps at it, doggedly bobbing his head, lips tightening as he goes up and down, sucking as he gets to the tip. Iruka feels like he’s about to go insane, and all he can do is bury his hands into Kakashi’s hair. He’d feel bad about how tight he pulls, if Kakashi didn’t groan around Iruka’s cock every single time he does it a little too hard. _Figures that he likes it a little rough_, Iruka thinks, _most jounin do_.

Just as Iruka is beginning to think he’ll come from this and this alone, Kakashi pulls away, pressing a final kiss onto the tip of Iruka’s cock before leaning away. Iruka holds the disappointed moan in his throat, anticipation thrumming throughout his body. He can hear Kakashi digging through his nightstand drawer, looking for the lube he correctly has assumed is inside. “Try towards the back.”

With a satisfied grunt, Kakashi’s full weight returns to the bed, prize clearly found. Iruka feels like he’s a firework about to explode. He can’t remember the last time he was so ready to get fucked. Therefore, it’s a bit of a surprise when after he hears the bottle click open, he doesn’t feel any tell-tale hands on him anymore. He still hears Kakashi though — his breath hitches a couple times — and it takes Iruka only a couple extra seconds to realize why that is.

“Oh _fuck_.”

Iruka grips the sheets at his sides tightly to prevent himself from ripping the hitai-ate off to watch Kakashi prep himself. The idea alone makes his cock twitch in anticipation of what’s about to happen.

Kakashi chuckles, “Finally caught on, eh, sensei?”

“I didn’t think — “

“I figured if I make my partners be blind for my own selfish reasons, I should give a little extra to them.” Kakashi’s thighs are then on either side of Iruka’s hips, and a lube covered hand is grasping Iruka’s cock, coating it as well.

Iruka doesn’t think he can string together full sentences anymore, the very idea of what’s about to happen is so heady to him that all he can do choke out a strangled, “_Please_.”

Kakashi doesn’t answer, he just lowers himself slowly onto Iruka’s cock, both of them gasping as he sinks lower. If Iruka thought it’s been a long time since he’s been fucked, then _gods_ it’s probably been even longer since he’s done the fucking. He lets Kakashi rest for a moment once he’s all the way down, but he can only wait for so long. Iruka gives an experimental hip thrust up, making Kakashi moan, so he figures that’s as much of a signal as he’s going to get. His hands find Kakashi’s hips, and Iruka holds on tight, not caring if he might end up leaving bruises. He thrusts up into Kakashi, who just as wantonly pushes down — easily matching his timing.

Steadily, Iruka goes faster, trying to angle himself so that he hits the right spot but it’s hard when he can’t see so all he has to evaluate how he’s doing is by the sounds Kakashi makes. Eventually, a particularly rough thrust, angled just so gets Kakashi to stutter out of time, so Iruka runs with it. He picks up his speed, aiming to hit that same spot again, and it must be right because Kakashi’s own rhythm matches his. They’re both panting, and just as Iruka finds himself missing it — Kakashi’s lips are on his, nose bumping against the hitai-ate as they kiss hurriedly.

They keep this pace for a little while, before the repetitive hits to his prostate start to unravel Kakashi. Iruka can tell from the haphazard way he’s kissing him — sloppy and most of the time with too much teeth, so he slows down his thrusts, still pointedly nailing the right spot and murmurs, “Please, Kakashi,” he drops the honorific on purpose, what use is it right now? “Come for me.”

Kakashi makes a strangled noise, and Iruka feels him tighten around his cock before there’s a growing wetness on Iruka’s chest. It’s not a second later that Iruka finds himself coming, Kakashi clenching around him as he does. 

Neither of them move for a moment, simply breathing and trying to recover. At some point, Kakashi shifts so that he slides off Iruka, and Iruka wishes it felt grosser than it does. Instead it feels it almost like a loss of a limb, and it takes a lot for Iruka not to pull Kakashi to him.

“Washcloths?” Kakashi asks, his voice haggard and in Iruka’s ear again.

“Bathroom, under the sink.”

Kakashi presses a kiss to Iruka’s chin and then gets off the bed. Iruka wishes more than anything that he could watch him walk away right now. He’s gone for barely a minute, and returns with a damp washcloth and proceeds to wipe Iruka down. It’s tender, somehow, Kakashi cleaning him while Iruka still can’t see, and Iruka hates the way it settles like something warm in his stomach. When he’s done, Kakashi pats Iruka’s stomach and stands up again. Iruka waits in darkness as he hears the rustling of clothes, waiting for when it might be okay to pull his hitai-ate away from his eyes.

“Well, sensei,” Kakashi says as he pushes Iruka’s hitai-ate up for him, and Iruka blinks as his eyes adjust to seeing things again. Kakashi’s lone eye shimmers with amusement and contentment, and Iruka hopes his own don’t betray how much he wants Kakashi to stay. “It’s been grand, but it’s time for me to head home.”

Iruka nods, keenly aware that he’s still completely naked, while Kakashi has already redressed himself as if nothing had transpired at all. “Y-Yeah.”

Kakashi watches him for a beat, and then does his eye smile before he walks away to Iruka’s bedroom window. He does the same hand signs as earlier, and Iruka feels the wards he put up disappear. “I’ll see you around, sensei.”

“Bye,” is all Iruka gets out before Kakashi disappears, papers from Iruka’s desk swirling around where he had been.

He groans as he covers his face with his hands, and wonders how in the Shodaime’s name he’s going to be able to face Kakashi in the mission room, let alone _ever again_.

**Author's Note:**

> have we, collectively, had enough of the trope of hate-fucking? i'm gonna guess survey says no.
> 
> also hello, i haven't written and _posted_ smut in uh a long ass time. let me check the records... yup 2015 was the last time i did both of those things with confidence.
> 
> anyway, i had fun with this one. particularly the "oh you're afraid he'll bring toads into it" line gives me a good chuckle every time i think about it.
> 
> hope you enjoyed!!


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